Amongst The Waves

Upon waking this Christmas morning, the thought of attending church entered my mind. I can't help myself though it's been years since I've walked through such doors on my own accord.

What can I say?

It is in my DNA. The son of a minister. The son of a minister's son. The grandson of a minister. The nephew of many more ministers. Administers of ministers we could be, my cousins and I. Ministers by association, nearly. Only these relatives can relate to such an absurd relationship with pastors, as they are called where we come from.

Conditioned I have been. Minnesotan born and bred. Land of 10,000 lakes and hundreds of thousands of Lutherans.

Garrison Keillor's voice ushered us, adolescents, deep into the Northern Woods every weekend of summer. At 16, we boys and girls drove automobiles into the forest together on our own accord. Mine a blue 1994, Honda, 4 door, 4 seater. Prairie Home Companions we were. My friends and I, growing up on the shores of a Lake Wobegon.

How do I even know such a fictional place exists? Because it was in fact, not a story after all. The Lake was real as real can be. What did our parents think we were up to? Playing cards and swimming in our bathing suits. Watching movies.

We were all good Christian kids "don't ya know.” Living life by the book. Leaving the lees at the bottom of the cup. Our tan bodies soaked up every last drop of sunshine, that The Lake could offer.

Today when I rose, the slightest temptation remained to shower and put on my Sunday best, but then subsided to thoughts of The Lake.

I never felt close to god in a church. The only Jesus I ever met was a guy I spent a summer with laying bricks. The only treasure I ever found in such walls, is knowing that there's no treasure to be found in them at all.

Of course, treasures abound all around us. However, it takes one with eyes wide open to see and capture them the moment they flash across our view.

This Christmas morning, I came across the wife of a minister. She was walking her dog on the beach before she had to be at church. "What will you be doing on this beautiful morning?" she asked. 

I wonder if she found anything inside those walls, that was not already out amongst the waves.

 



Deforestation is Dehumanisation

To be human is to be nature and to be nature is to be human.

Deforestation is dehumanisation. Dehumanisation is deforestation.

In polluting the river we bring ruin upon ourselves.

More now, than ever, it is time to rewild our lives.

- Deforestation is Dehumanisation

On Covid - 19

There is essential, 

And then,

There is

Essential.

As in…

Absolutely necessary.

Surely, 

We have learned, 

A thing or two,

From this whole great, 

Debacle?

- On Covid - 19

Lost

I lost my self,

Out there,

Somewhere on the water,

And in the woods,

And I have no desire,

To find it,

Ever again.


The Greatest Illusion: On Separateness

Separateness is the greatest 

Illusion of our time 

It is no wonder 

There is so much pain in the world 

We’ve severed ourselves

From one another  

Forgetting each and every one of us 

Is just part and parcel of all  

You may not believe 

That the flap of butterfly’s wings 

Has much to do with you 

But there is no doubt it does

More now than you could ever imagine

It is just a matter of time 

Before we all find out 

For ourselves 

- On Separateness

A Poem For J.T.

I once heard someone say…

Suffering stops

Where gratitude starts

Perspective is often

What matters most 

Perhaps I am

Privileged beyond repair 

How wonderful it is

The world...

To be able 

To say 

I was once 

Here on earth

Despite the pain

That awaits us all

That we know

We must go through

In order to emerge

On the other side

- A Poem For J.T.


Only Love

Pour all of your pain into me

I am capable of containing anything

As I am made of only love

- Only Love

F$#! Gym Memberships

It really is

Amazing to me 

The number of people

Who have 


Boardwalks galore

At their front doorsteps

And access to the great outdoors

Just off their back porch

And jungle gyms

Playgrounds for adult health and heart

With unlimited monkey bars

Around the nearest street corner 

And oceans and rivers

Nearly as far as the eye can see 


All by the way

For free

And yet

Settle for exclusive memberships

At air conditioned gyms 

With 50 different treadmills

Aimed at metre wide television screens 

Headed nowhere

Instead of pastures of green

And forests full of verdant trees 


Perhaps however 

I am the crazy misunderstood one 


The one out

Running and jumping into the world 


Right here

In front of me

Barefoot and nearly

Naked…

Don’t even get me started

On shoes…


- Fuck Gym Memberships

Do The Work

For years, I hid from “the work.”

Now, I know, it, “the work,” is all that ever mattered.

At least, that is, when it comes to craft.

One cannot expect “results” if they haven't got their fingers and palms in it each and every day. Showing up to the white blank page regularly. Consistency is a super power when it comes to craft. Turning up, no matter what. The best artists I’ve come across do just that, “rain or shine.”

Patterns of inconsistency and irregularity are just hobbies. And there are no problems with hobbies. Just do not expect to separate oneself by just delving in or “dabbling” as they like to say. One does not dabble in writing novels. One does not dabble in painting a masterpiece. One does does not dip their toes into professional sport.

One must find a cliff and dive courageously, heart and all, immersing themselves from head to toe. That's what I believe, anyhow.

Sink or swim, Fly or die. The time is now.

- Do The Work

Small Acts Of Kindness

There are no big acts,

Only itty bitty teeny tiny ones,

The marathon is run,

One step and breathe at a time,

The single rain drop,

Ended the drought that began the great flood,

A smile, a hug, a gentle touch,

One word of love,

All go,

A long way in the end,

There is no such thing,

As an insignificant act,

Every little thing matters,

When it all come down to…

- Kindness

River Culture: On Team Building

River Culture: On Team Building

This trout, one of my most favourite of all, was caught in a teeny tiny stream, that 8 - 10 months of the year runs dry and does not even carry a trickle of water. On this day, every river in the country nearly was blown out due to 100 year floods in New Zealand. We found this crick with a few tips from a local woman named Emily (she was donning a Hunting and Fishing shirt and cap) who we found while pumping up our petrol. I saw her and asked, “Do you know anywhere we can find some cold clear water and fish.” She, albeit hesitantly, directed us to this “secret spot,” where the fish really were as long as one’s leg! There was another brown trout of the same size and stature just upstream. This one was sitting waiting for me and Sim, in a pool about knee deep. It ate a single nymph and took me far into the willows. He must have weighed between 5 and 6 pounds, caught on a 4 weight rod. Lots of fun, lots of fun. Did I mention how lucky I am to live in New Zealand? Every trip I take these days seems to be someone else’s trip of a lifetime. Forever grateful. Only love, Benny Sip

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A Morning Manifesto: December 8th

This here,

Is a declaration,

Not for tomorrow,

Only today,

Because,

As they say,

“Nothing ever,

Stays the same,”

Everything,

Changes,

So I say,

Today,

Adamantly,

Break the mould,

Desperately refuse anything to do,

With the status quo,

There are enough clothes,

In thrift stores 10 times over,

To outfit the entire human population,

For the next 100 years or more,

Seriously,

That designer label,

Has never made,

Anyone greater,

Did you know,

The rivers in Asia,

Run the colour,

Of fashion’s latest?

I bet not,

You do now.

Do not,

Go with the flow,

Unless,

That is,

You are in,

Csikszentmihalyi's zone.

Understand,

No one knows,

A thing,

At all,

Everyone is just,

Making it up,

As they go,

Along,

Despite what we’ve been told,

There is no good or bad,

Or right nor wrong,

Just sincerity or not.

Kindness can be disguised as,

Tough love,

Perspective is often,

What matters most,

The rich man sees,

What the poor cannot.

We’ve got it all,

Back to front.

All the world’s wealth,

Is worthless,

If one does not have,

Their health,

Putting in the hard yards,

At the start,

Allows one to cruise,

Later on,

That is if,

That is,

What one,

Wants,

As for “the grind,”

I am not sure what that means,

As for me,

I do not want to be,

Churned into,

A pulp,

In the end i’d like to be more full,

Than just a cloud of dust,

With greater understanding of course,

And certainly less ego and crap,

Attached to the man,

I’ve become,

All the hard work in the world,

Is no where near effective,

As the correct,

Amount of leverage,

A punch,

In the gut,

And pressure is not,

A privilege,

Perhaps both,

A blessing and curse,

There are,

As they,

“Two sides,

To every coin,”

Outcomes can always be drawn,

Back to the start,

Results are not,

Results,

And real life does not hand out,

Accolades or awards,

Everything is done,

Long before it is done,

No one is coming to rescue us,

We are all on our own islands,

Whether we like it,

Or not,

Yet,

A true friend is a gem,

Perhaps more rare,

Than anything,

Cherish him or her or them,

While you still can,

Family,

That is,

Eat less,

Sleep more,

Move a lot,

And breathe through your nostrils,

Keep moving,

Don’t stop,

Momentum,

Is powerful,

Stillness is not,

Any less of an action,

Never take anyone’s advice,

Especially mine,

Wanting nothing,

Is as good as having it all,

I really do believe that,

Nothing has made me happy,

Time and time,

Again,

There are no big acts,

Only little ones,

A novel is written,

One word at a time,

Does that encourage,

Or discourage you?

I find it,

Damn inspiring,

How one can transform,

Their tiny corner of the world first,

Before attempting,

To save the earth,

The great flood began,

From a single drop,

And the epic drought,

Was over in a moment,

Life is full of pain,

Joy too,

Everything,

Even suffering,

Is an absolute,

Privilege,

There is a 1 in 400 trillion,

Possibility that you even exist,

Right here,

Right now,

Is the greatest place,

You’ll ever be,

So be grateful,

For goodness sake,

These are just reminders,

To myself,

Take nothing personal,

If you can,

We are all capable,

Beyond measure,

So do your best,

To refuse measurements,

Of any kind,

Categories,

Distinctions,

Compartmentalisations,

Buck the trend and never,

Compare,

Compete

Or cast judgement,

“Keeping up with the Jones’”

Is entirely over rated,

While running one’s own race,

Hugely under,

How can we even begin,

To put ourselves in the shoes of another,

I’d prefer to simply run in mine,

One step at a time,

Without expectations,

Open,

Ebbing and flowing,

Enjoying the race for what it is,

A running,

Just like the river,

Living,

Like water,

Arriving upon obstacles,

With an explorer’s mind,

As if meeting them,

For the very first time,

Seeing them,

For what they truly are,

Challenges,

Eexperiences,

New,

Play grounds,

That allow one,

The opportunity,

To find a way over,

Around or through,

You can do,

Anything,

In this life,

Truly anything,

With your one,

Wild and precious life,

I’ve never believed anything,

More,

So long as you just be,

Yourself,

That is after you dismantle,

Your current one,

The self,

That is,

You know that thing,

You think you hold,

That you’ve constructed and built,

And continually reinforced since a kid,

Yes it is,

and has been,

Completely,

Fabricated,

You are,

Nothing,

You are,

Limitless,

Without,

Boundaries,

And then when,

You’ve realised all that,

And I certainly cannot prescribe how,

Begin again,

Restart,

Brand new and fresh,

Having unlearned,

Anything and everything,

You once knew,

Deep down to be true,

But no longer,

If peered into,

Holds any,

Solid ground,

Then and only then,

Will you be a babe,

Wild and free,

Again,

Open,

To life’s possibility,

It’s generosity,

Splendour and wonder,

Part and parcel of all,

Connected to the great web,

That is the air and the atmosphere,

And the soil,

And the trees,

And the animals,

Everything,

Whole and one,

And nothing,

All at once.

On Taking Flight

What is it

You are holding onto

That if you

Truly knew

It’s weight

Would drop

Right now

Immediately

In the name

Of flight?

- On Taking Flight

The Best Professor

Dan Barden was the best, 

Professor I ever had,

Because he handed out,

Not home work,

But the most practical of advice, like,

“Write uninterrupted in a journal each day for 30 minutes.”

He’d say this at the beginning of every class,

That right there was a four year,

$200,000 dollar worth,

U.S University education.

The River Runs

The river runs, 

All day and night long,

Not knowing, 

When to stop, 

Flowing over, 

And around, 

Any and all, 

Obstacles,

Its waters, 

Arrive upon.

- Be more like this


Chrysalis

The caterpillar takes it upon itself,

To build,

The exact conditions required,

For its wondrous,

Nearly inexplicable,

Metamorphosis,

You too,

Can do this,

Change,

In ways,

Inexplicable,

Previously believed,

Impossible,

Imagine that.

- Chrysalis

Happy Poet

When the ink in my pen is low,

This is how I know,

I am doing alright.

The creative life,

Is the only life,

Period.

- Happy Poet

Society of Men

I have no interest,

In the society of men,

Who’ve found a way,

To do more of less,

Only in order to line,

Their pockets,

For just,

Themselves,

Forgetting the collective,

On which they depended,

To elevate them,

Into,

The privileged positions,

They sit now.

- Society of Men

Perception: Rich Man Poor Man

Skills of perception, 

Are undervalued,

The rich man sees, 

What the poor man can’t.

His impact, 

Immeasurable, 

However effortless, 

It may appear,  

To the outside observer,

Who could not,

Possibly understand,

The work that went into, 

Years of application,

To craft.

- Perception: Rich Man Poor Man